Sobriety was Hard, but He was Worth It
by DelicateInnocence
Summary: Sequel to Life was Hard, but He was Worth It. It's been a year since that embarrassing fiasco at Seven Eleven and a lot of drunken crying, but Stan's pretty sure he's got this sober thing down. Now just to see if Kyle thinks the same thing. Includes boys love, swearing and awkward parental bonding. Rated M for language and potentially sexual scenes in later chapters.


It has officially been a year since my incident at the Seven Eleven corner store and Kyle's late night confession to me and I'd love to report that everything was better and that I'd kept my word and that Kyle and I were getting married and honeymooning in Hawaii...but that's not how real life works.

That's not to say that things haven't improved though, because they have. In the last year, my parents have gone through with their divorce and have separated. Mom still lives in South Park with me and dad has moved to Denver. He comes down for holidays and I stayed with him for a day around his birthday so we could celebrate together. His apartment wasn't that bad, actually, but it had been hard ignoring the empty beer cans and having to refuse him trying to push a drink on me. I'm not going to say I haven't slipped up and had a drink or four in the last year, but I can at least admit that I was responsible and only drank at home where I knew I could subtly take care of myself and not cause a fuss.

Kyle knew; I always fessed up when he asked because I wanted there to be nothing hidden if I was going to work at a relationship with him. He'd give me a look, ask how I took care of it and usually move on once I told him how awesomely I'd handled myself and hadn't had a hangover the next day. I'm sure "awesome" wouldn't be the word he used to describe it, but...

And that leads to the main reason why I couldn't count this year as a success yet. Kyle and I still weren't together. After our original chat, I'd cut drinking out of my life entirely. Three months completely sober. I'd missed it, oh how I'd fucking missed it, and had a few days were I'd been mad at everything and had broken one of my Xbox controllers against the wall in my fit. But I was proud of my overall accomplishments and had gone to Kyle with a mind to asking him out. He'd turned me down.

I'd gotten mad, felt hopeless and that night was my first slip up. I woke up regretting it and when Kyle found out we'd agreed not to talk about dating for a while. Turns out a while was closer to two months. The topic had come up when Cartman had posted on Facebook about his new girlfriend and we talked about all the more likely things that should have happened over Eric fucking Cartman getting laid. I'd joked about me and Kyle. I shouldn't have. The conversation stopped and he simply said, "Not yet, Stan" and we'd dropped the subject.

I'd had a day somewhere in the year where I'd resented Kyle. That was my second slip up. I never said anything to his face but I'd ranted in my room, calling him picky and judgmental and that he should just accept that I was better and be with me. When I woke up the next morning and remembered what I'd thought and seen the three beer bottles and half full shot glass with the half full Crown Royale next to my bed, I hated myself for thinking that I was good enough yet.

Mom got a new boyfriend between then and now and I had hated her for being lucky in love when I was struggling with it so much. I'd stayed with my dad for a week because of it, but he was just as bad an influence. Third slip up. We'd gotten drunk together and watched the football game on TV. I'd spilled about how I felt with Kyle to him and he told me to "go get 'im". I don't think he remembered that the next morning, which was good because my dad was always pretty fidgety around homosexuality. The one time he'd opened up to me about it, he'd said something had happened with Gerald, Kyle's dad, that he didn't want to talk about. I didn't pry because ick. I had no desire to know what the fuck had gone on between my dad and Gerald Broflovski but I had to note the humor behind those two hooking up when I was pining so hard after Gerald's son.

You might think that three slip ups in a year means I'm better. Those of you with alcoholic tendencies or relatives might know different. I was probably a bigger bitch in this year than I had been all the way through school and Kenny and I had even gotten into a fist fight because of my mood once. I'd been an asshole and insulted him because of how his parents were with booze and drugs and he'd said something back about how I was no better and I'd snapped. Kyle had tended to Kenny's wounds that day, not mine and I couldn't blame him.

It had taken time to realize that alcohol was an addiction and as powerful as I'd felt giving it up for love, it was hard as fuck. I missed the sheer flavor of alcohol a lot of the time. I'd given up Dr. Pepper because I used to mix it with my booze and it just didn't taste as good on its own. It had been a tough year.

But this was it. The last haul, in my opinion, and I hoped to every god there might potentially be that Kyle thought so too. This October was the month that marked a year, officially, since our first mutual confession and my vow to get better. I'd managed to go without more than maybe a glass of wine at holiday dinners since my last slip up at dad's and Kyle was fully aware of this, I'd made sure.

He was coming over to celebrate and I had it all planned out. I don't know if he knew I was up to something or not, but he didn't let on if he did. I was paranoid that he'd reach the house, I'd open the door and he'd be standing there and just say "I won't go out with you", but I was paranoid about a lot of things. I calmed myself down by preparing for it. I'd told mom to hide all the alcohol in the house and she'd looked at me funny, but when I went looking for a snack a few hours ago, the booze wasn't were I left it so I'm assuming she'd done as I'd asked.

Right now I was feeling as sick to my stomach as any drink had ever made me, waiting on the stairs for Kyle to show up. I felt so pathetic; felt like I should busy myself with something to make it look oh so nonchalant when he showed up and I'd slowly stop what I was doing and casually answer the door like "hey, I was just doing something, come in", but there was nothing to do.

We weren't in a TV drama, we were _real_ people in _real_ life. And I was _really_ going to wait for him like a chick waiting for her date to prom.

I waited for about twenty seven minutes, give or take, most definitely not looking at the clock in the living room across from the stairs every two or so minutes. Shut up.

I felt shaky, opening the door for him, but it calmed when he didn't confirm my worst fears. He smiled instead and stepped inside, slipping his coat off his shoulders and hooking it over his arm while he worked on getting his shoes off.

"Hey, dude." I said weakly and he looked up at me with that smile still on his face.

"Hey." He replied. "Sorry I'm a bit late, mom talked my ear off about why I don't visit her and Ike more often at the house and I couldn't hang up on her or she'd bitch about that."

I forgot to mention this actually. Kyle had moved out in the last year and was sharing an apartment with a cousin of his I'd never quite warmed up to. Thankfully he was almost never home so Kyle had free reign of the place. I still preferred him over here when we hung out though; his apartment was kind of small and the windows needed to be open almost all the time to avoid this weird musty smell the place had. Kyle didn't seem to mind too much though.

"Yeah." I agreed, feeling dumb that that was the best response I could come up with.

"What's the plan?" Kyle asked me, kicking his shoes off to the side so no one would trip on them and watching me.

"I figured we'd do a movie marathon and have a drink or two." I said, cheering up and waiting for my lack of specifications to grate on Kyle, as I knew it would. It didn't take long.

"Drink?" Kyle asked, raising an eyebrow.

I winked and moved to the kitchen, thankful that he followed me without prompt.

"I have found this wonderful thing and mom has given me permission to use her nice wine glasses." I started, gesturing the the counter were I'd set up two wine glasses before sitting in wait for Kyle. Behind the glasses was a 2 liter of Ginger Ale.

Kyle paused, looked at the set up and a laugh escaped him, which I took as a good sign.

"I know we can't celebrate sobriety with booze, but a year ago you were feeding me Ginger Ale so it's oddly fitting." I shrugged. "I've got another two liter in the fridge if we finish this one."

"Fitting indeed." Kyle said, still smiling. "You're pretty clever when you want to be, you know that? Cheeky bastard."

Hearing Kyle swear was still kind of funny. He'd started doing it more in my company, but it was still pretty infrequent.

"Grab your glass and I'll bring the rest up, I've got snacks in my room." I said, holding my wine glass between my fingers and wrapping my free hand around the neck of the Ginger Ale bottle. Kyle followed my example and we went upstairs. I'd bought a mini fridge for myself in the first couple of months off the alcohol to hide water bottles or soda away without having to go downstairs where mom kept the alcohol, so I'd cleared it out to make room for snacks tonight. I'd had to leave the second 2 liter downstairs because it hadn't fit. Sad part about the _mini_ in mini fridge, who would have thought?

"So what movies did you have in mind?" Kyle asked, sitting down on the floor in front of my TV I still didn't have a stand for. It was a big clunky thing and I'd been worried about it breaking my desk, so it was just on the floor next to my Xbox.

I shrugged in response.

"I have a bunch on my computer, thought we could sift through when you got here and pick a few. I'll put them on my usb stick and we'll watch them on the Xbox." I added, grabbing my laptop with the worn out keys. The A and S identifiers had completely rubbed clean of their keys so I only knew what letter it was by instinct.

It took about five minutes to go through all my movies, not all of which had been downloaded 100% legally, but who on Earth didn't download something for free from time to time? We settled on Sherlock Holmes, the one with Robert Downey Jr in it, and X-Men First Class so I transferred them to a usb and plugged it into the Xbox console.

As the opening sequence started up to Sherlock, Kyle reached forward and tugged the Ginger Ale closer to himself, twisting the cap off with a bit of difficulty. He proceeded to fill his glass, then mine, and I felt my face heat up when I realized I was staring at his hands as he did so.

Kyle had long fingers. Not like pianist fingers; he had difficulty reaching the orange key on Guitar Hero guitars without moving his whole hand, but his fingers were longer than mine at least. My fingers were wider, something my dad said came with being a sports player. Whether it was true or not, I didn't know or care.

His nails were clipped perfectly and just a bit longer than the tips of his fingers. He'd probably cut them soon, he usually didn't let them get too long, but I liked them like this. Maybe it was the part of me that still liked feminine things and womanly features, but short clipped fingernails just weren't as beautiful as Kyle's were now. I felt like a cheesy poet, looking at Kyle's fingernails, so I stopped and looked up at the screen to watch Sherlock run after a man on a staircase.

"Stan" Kyle said, drawing my attention back to him. "Cheers." He was holding up his wine glass, bubbling with Ginger Ale.

I smiled and lifted my own to touch his, hearing the click as they met.

"Cheers." I returned and we both took a sip from our drinks.

The movie went on and for a long while, both of us were lost to it. I forgot about being nervous and Kyle slouched back against the side of my bed with his knees up and tilted to one side so he could see the screen still. At some point I joined him and at another point, Kyle's cheek rested on my shoulder. I think that was when I stopped paying attention to the movie, but he might have been there a while and maybe I was just noticing it. Whatever.

I glanced down at him but he didn't notice, green eyes still focused on the screen. I didn't shift or try to weave my arm around him, but I wanted to. I let him rest comfortably against me, feeling infinitely comfier than I had before and I didn't even disrupt him to refill my glass once I'd finished, despite wanting more Ginger Ale.

It was only when the credits started rolling that Kyle moved, taking the Ginger Ale first and refilling his own glass I hadn't even noticed was also empty. He held it up and looked at me and I nodded, clearing my throat to ensure I didn't sound prepubescent when I followed up with, "You hungry?"

"A bit, yeah." Kyle shrugged, refilling my glass while I stood to move over to the fridge. My head hurt with how fast my brain was trying to come up with a way to ask him out before the next movie, but nothing seemed right. It all seemed too blunt and forced and disruptive to the mood right now to just say it.

I brought over my snacks; a plate I'd set up with crackers, meat and cheese, and a bag of chips I'd rested against the side of the fridge, setting them all in front of Kyle and sitting back down.

Kyle immediately peeled the Saran wrap off the plate of crackers and fixings, just like I knew he would because for some odd reason, Kyle loved little party favor foods like this. The last time we'd been at a party had been Shelly's bridal shower (another thing I forgot to mention, mostly because her fiance is a douchebag and I only went because I was family and it was required. I'd thankfully been allowed to bring a plus one), and Kyle had come back from the snack table with a plate full of nothing but crackers and sliced meat.

Not to mention the crackers were a nod to that night a year ago as well, though whether Kyle saw that or not was uncertain.

I clicked a few buttons on the Xbox controller and pressed play on X-Men, settling back against the bed and dragging the bag of chips with me. Kyle held out a makeshift sandwich he'd made out of two crackers, a piece of meat and two thin strips of cheese and I looked at him curiously for a second. He gave me a look in return and bumped the cracker sandwich against my lips. I opened my mouth and bit into it, feeling foolish and warm all around my cheeks and ears, but Kyle smiled and fed me the whole fucking cracker mashup, laughing quietly when I brushed stray crumbs off my shirt. God he could laugh at me forever. That came out weird. Wait. I loved the sound of his laugh, that's what I meant.

I smiled back at him and this warm silence passed between us for a second. If silence could be warm. And comfortable. Shut up. If you've ever loved someone, you probably know what I mean.

I wanted to kiss him so badly. Fuck. I think he sensed that because his eyes looked downwards for a moment and I wondered if he was looking at my lips or more crumbs or something. He eventually looked away and I reluctantly turned back to watch the movie.

Some of you are probably thinking that midway through the movie, we couldn't handle the tension and kissed. Maybe even fucked in the flickering light of the TV. You're wrong. And I hate you a little bit for thinking that because it makes me picture Kyle naked. And...fuck.

No. The movie ended without anything happening. We didn't talk. We didn't cuddle. Kyle finished the plate off with a few more cracker sandwiches being made for me, but he didn't feed them to me like he did the first time. I fed him a chip once. Threw at couple at him too. One was still clinging to the back of his shirt and he hadn't noticed, so I brushed it off once the movie had ended. A good...half an hour after it had gotten there, but don't tell him.

The clock read eleven forty two. Not late enough for either of us to sleep, but late enough that mom was probably heading there and it meant no more movies because she'd complain about the noise keeping her up.

"I'll be right back." Kyle said, leaving the room for a bit. I figured he had to go to the bathroom, which wasn't a bad idea actually. I'd filled up my glass at least three more times during the movie. I moved to the hallway, taking the stairs down to the second bathroom near the kitchen.

I unzipped and nearly missed the toilet while I was preoccupied wondering how best to handle this wanting-to-ask-Kyle-out thing now that movies weren't an option to distract myself. I took extra long washing my hands to give myself extra time to think, but eventually I needed to head back upstairs.

Kyle was back before I was and had moved onto my bed, my laptop on his crossed legs. I climbed onto the mattress with him and looked at the screen. He was on Facebook. I almost laughed. Kyle loved social networking, even if he wasn't really a social guy. I'd never understand it; Facebook was such a hassle. I hadn't had one since I was a kid and I didn't intend on having one ever again.

Kyle started typing something and I peeked at the screen again. He was updating his status.

'_Celebrating a year of hard work with my boy. Proud of you, Stan ~'_

My heart skipped several beats while reading the words "_my boy_" but I lay back on my bed and let him finish working. It wasn't the first time he'd called me that and it didn't mean what I wanted it to mean, but it still got me every time.

He eventually set the laptop aside and shifted to lay on his side next to me.

"What do you want to do now?" He asked.

_Kiss you_. I thought about speaking my mind aloud, but I lost the courage when I looked him in the eyes and ended up just smiling instead.

"I don't know. What do you want to do?" I returned.

Kyle hummed, his expression changing into a thoughtful one.

"I don't know." He eventually answered.

Awkward silence in three, two...

I cleared my throat again, trying to will myself to say what I'd waited a year to deserve saying.

"I didn't really believe you'd do it, you know?" Kyle broke the silence first, surprising me.

"Oh?" I added lamely.

"Like...ugh, I don't mean to sound like I thought you'd fail or like...say you lied." This conversation didn't look like it was going to be very kind to me, but Kyle continued and I let him. "I just didn't think you were really going to stop drinking. It was kind of a lifestyle for you for a long time."

I nodded.

"It wasn't perfect, obviously. I fucked up a couple of times."

"Yeah." Kyle said quietly. "It wasn't as bad as it could have been though."

"You wrote that you were proud of me." I said, admitting in a way that I'd seen his update in case he hadn't noticed me peeking.

"I am. 'Cos I didn't think you'd do it and you did." Kyle looked at me with a sudden intensity and I propped myself up on my elbows.

"Sort of." I probably shouldn't have been pushing my points of failure, but I wanted to be perfectly honest and give myself a B instead of boasting an A when I'd messed up.

Kyle laughed again, looking down at his hands and fiddling with his fingers.

"I had good inspiration." I mumbled, wondering if this was where it happened. When I could branch into my question and it would make sense and not be too out of place.

I saw Kyle smile in the dim light of my room and took that as a good sign.

"I still mean what I said that night, you know." I said, watching him for reactions. Good or bad reactions, anything to give me indications of what my answer might be before he said it. "I worked on this for a year for you."

"That puts a bit of pressure on me." Kyle laughed again, but it was nervous laughter. I could tell the difference.

I felt part of me shut down in the panic of what my next few words would be, but luckily something had the sense to keep going and continue being at least marginally mature about it.

"I still want to ask you something, Kyle. And I don't know if you have an answer for me yet, but I...if I can't use the anniversary as an excuse to ask you, I feel like it's less...serious? Less official? That sounds really dumb, you're just lucky I didn't light candles or buy you a ring or something, I'm horrible at this romantic thing." I laughed at myself and was relieved to hear Kyle laugh with me.

"Can I ask you?" I asked, feeling dumb for having to make Kyle initiate the question, but I was feeling insecure and cautious and for the third time, people, shut up.

Kyle cracked his knuckles while he was fiddling with his fingers and I knew from how it looked that it was because of how hard he was gripping and not out of any intimidation tactic or something.

"This is so cheesy, Stan." Kyle breathed out, almost too quiet for me to hear. Almost. Luckily my nerves were like a super power and I could hear everything, see everything and feel everything coming from Kyle.

I wanted to cup his face in my hands, pull him close and kiss him all over before asking him the question so thanks romantic movies, you make normal people feel like asshats for having to do this the painfully average way. I figured he wouldn't appreciate me all over him, it was just how Kyle was, so I simply stayed where I was and despite my voice cracking (my worst fears are coming true!), managed to get out "Will you give me a chance now?".

The silence just after you ask someone out is painful. It had been painful the other few times I'd done this with Kyle too, but this one I kind of felt I had a better chance so I was literally holding my breath waiting for a reply. My heart was beating hard in my chest and my blood was rushing through me and making me light headed and I just prayed I wouldn't pass out because how fucking awful would that be?

It could have been two minutes between my question and his reply but it felt like hours! I could sit here and read the Lord of the Rings to you and sincerely believe that I'd gotten through the whole book before I heard him take in a shaky breath and speak.

"I could probably make you wait forever, couldn't I?"

"Huh?" I asked.

Kyle looked up at me with a half smile.

"I could say no, right now, and you'd wait and wait and wait to ask me out again, wouldn't you?" He inquired.

I thought about it. It sounded super pathetic and I didn't like looking lame in front of him but I gave him a sheepish grin and said, "Probably. I'm pretty stubborn when I want something and you gave me the impression there was a chance, so you're probably stuck with me trying to win you over."

I paused and the grin faded a bit, much as I tried not to let it show that I was worried that that was his answer.

"Is that it then? I should wait longer?" My voice was unbearable, I was such a sucker and I sounded so whiny.

Kyle shrugged and looked back down again before he seemed to frown at himself and brought his gaze back to mine with a mixed expression I couldn't really read.

"No, I...I mean I'm still worried that giving you what you want will make you stop trying to stay sober and all-"

"It won't!" I interrupted and Kyle sort of smiled.

"That's good. 'Cos don't think I won't break up with you if you end up being a wreck again, I can't do that aspect of..." Kyle shook his head and waved a hand dismissively. "Doesn't matter. If you're being honest about that, it's fine."

I might be a bit slow, but I didn't really know what Kyle meant by that. Did that mean...we were dating? Or what?

"Soo, what you're saying is..." I prompted, wanting black and white confirmation of what the answer was so there was no confusing it later on.

Kyle rolled his eyes, but he was smiling so I figured that wasn't a bad thing.

"You've done good, you did what you promised, more or less. I...yeah, I'll go out with you." Kyle said and no more beautiful words had ever been said by anyone.

I'm sure my face lit up like a fucking kid on Christmas getting his favorite toy or something, but I'll tell you; I didn't care much.

"So boyfriends?" My voice was pitchy, ugh, it sounded bad.

"Yes." Kyle gave me a look that made me feel even more like a petulant child but when I moved over to wrap him in my arms, he shifted appropriately and after some maneuvering, hugged me back. I was laying on one of his arms and he on one of mine and it kind of hurt, but I wasn't going to pull back for anything. I squeezed him hard and he wheezed against me. I heard a breathless sort of sound I realized was him laughing and laughed with him. I wasn't even sure what was funny, but we lay there laughing for a good couple of minutes.

I reluctantly moved back after we'd hugged it out and carefully analyzed the look on his face before leaning in for a kiss. I paused right in front of him just in case he wanted to back out, but he didn't so I closed the gap. It was the first time he'd let me kiss him since that day a year ago and I'd missed it. Oh sweet fucking jesus, I'd missed it. I can't even describe to you...just...ugh, fireworks, love, heart pounding, his lips were really soft and he's a really good kisser. One thing I'll give sober is kissing is a lot better when you're clear headed.

Kyle even leaned back a bit and gave me a look, which I returned curiously, and he said, "You're better at this than I remember."

Guys, he thinks I'm a good kisser too. _God. Dammit_.

I don't know how long we lay there kissing and cuddling and all that cheesy nudging each other with our noses and shit. I didn't even care. It had been a hell of a year. But just like that night a year ago, I could only tell you one thing.

Kyle was _still_ worth it. Now fuck off, he's mine.

**00000000**

**Author's Note:**

I didn't think there'd be a sequel to my original work, but here ya go. I thought about writing a little more to this, little side chapters to detail certain aspects of their life as a couple, but I'm not 100% sure about it yet. Let me know if you'd enjoy something like that, I'd love to hear : )

**P.S:** Because I'm releasing this as a _"year later_" piece to Life Was Hard, please forgive the fact that I got impatient and posted it earlier than October like the other piece XD


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